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Influence is Pull, Not Push
Influence is the act of drawing people in by attraction, not pushing them or using force.
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Respond Instead of React
Instead of reacting, respond with persuasion. You'll be more like to get the result you want.
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Building Influence Inside Your Company
To build your influence as a leader, share your ideas and knowledge.
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Getting Others to Listen When You’re Not Seen as an Expert
To get others to listen, you need to make them see you as an expert—even if they do not see you as one.
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How To Be Persuasive
Jay Conger identifies four key things it takes to become a powerful persuader.
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The Necessary Art of Persuasion
Jay Conger studies influential leaders and change agents who are masters of constructive persuasion. He’s distilled their skills into four fundamental dimensions that anyone can learn. In this keynote, Jay shares the techniques and practices that you can deploy to get your colleagues to support your ideas and initiatives. These are skills you never learned in school but are the trademarks of influential people.
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Verbal Language for Effective Influence
People are kinesthetic, auditory, visual, or auditory/digital (interested in details). To persuade someone use words they prefer, like “grasp” (kinesthetic), “see” and “appear” (visual), “that sounds good” and “rings a bell” (auditory), and “consider” (auditory/digital).
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Qualities of Influential Managers
Influential managers 1) don’t worry about what other people think; leadership is not about popularity; 2) are resilient; everyone has setbacks; and 3) have empathic understanding of other people; they can see the world through other people’s eyes.
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How Leaders Can Influence Others
To influence others in times of change ask, “What do you want?” People are not asked that question very often. They usually tell you what they don’t want. Keep asking, “What do you want?” It’s a simple way to influence others.
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Real Influence
To be more influential 1) go for a great outcome; 2) listen past your blind spot; 3) go to their there, let go of your here, and satisfy their three gets: their situation, them in their situation, and where they want to go; and 4) when you’ve done enough, do more.
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Affluence to Influence
Political systems try to influence through capital, but Gen Z is showing that you don’t need money. You only need access to a community of like-minded people. Dove’s™ online campaign for real beauty was successful with few dollars. Influence is a new form of capital.
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Achieving Goals in Modern Management
Today, effective leaders must also have political intelligence, the art of making things happen through people you don’t control.
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Influence: The Most Powerful Persuasion Techniques
David Taylor suggests using the persuasive techniques of reciprocity, two true statements, and incomplete communications.
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Emotional Intelligence
Don't trust logic. Instead, trust your own gut feelings about an individual or situation. You will rarely be wrong.
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Take the Other Person's Perspective
Draw a capital E on your forehead with the forefinger of your dominant hand. If the E faces inward, you are less likely to take the other person’s perspective, and thus be less influential. When assigning tasks, remove obstacles and consider what’s in it for the employee.
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An Alternative to Persuasion
To persuade people we usually try to change their minds. Another way is to change their options.
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Use Social Cartography to Map Influence
To learn who has influence in a meeting, label a circle for each person, an X for every time that person speaks, and an arrow to the person being addressed. The person addressed the most is likely the person with the most influence, not the person who talks the most.
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The Power of Purpose to Persuade
A hospital tried three different signs to see which sign would persuade hospital personnel to wash their hands more. “Hand hygiene prevents patients from catching diseases” was more effective than “Hand hygiene prevents you from catching diseases” or a control sign.
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Talk Versus Behavior
You can’t talk your way out of something you behaved your way into. People watch whether you do what you say you are going to do. You have to behave yourself out of whatever you behaved your way into. You have to earn the trust of others.
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Three Surprising Skills of Collaboration
Show your intention to collaborate. 1) Tell the truth with good will; share your views honestly. 2) Show understanding by taking the other person's side; this will require listening. 3) Own your own contribution to the problem.
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The Art of Finding and Developing Your Allies
The people with the most relationships are the people with the most influence.
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How to Influence People You Don't Control
Six magic words: "Everyone expects to be paid back." Assume everyone is an ally if you know what they value. Align their values with what you control.
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Ways People Lose Influence and Give Away Power
See every other person as a potential ally.
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Influence Comes from Trust
Influence comes from trust. Trust comes from vulnerability, e.g., “I don’t know; what do you think?” People who are asked are more engaged. Sue Powell tells of a boss who asked everyone for his or her opinion, but were told to act as if the final decision were theirs.
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Getting Access to Powerful People
Start with a bold direct approach. Allan Cohen gives two examples.
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Building Your Network
Networks are made up of reciprocal relationships. People with the most relationships are the most influential.
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Healthy Conversations
In a level #1 healthy conversation we exchange information non-judgmentally, just trying to connect. Level #2 is a positional conversation; one of us is advocating a position. Level #3 is a transformational conversation, where we are willing to be influenced by each other.
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How to Influence Strategy
The energy, attitude, and language leaders bring to the table influences strategy, from the idea phase all the way through execution. Make sure you’re pulling people instead of pushing them away.
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Be More Charismatic
Alisa Cohn says that charismatic people are like magnets, pulling people and opportunities toward them. Fortunately, anyone can learn to improve their charisma.
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To Influence Others Listen More
To influence others, listen to them. It’s a form of respect. They will reciprocate with respect by listening to you. Salespeople say, “People don’t care what you know until they know that you care.” It’s true. Encourage others to say more.
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Live Event: Invisible Influence: The Hidden Forces that Shape Behavior
This Live Event was originally broadcast on April 24, 2018.